Swirling Paths

Migraine Discussions

Always swirling and turning. Never an end in sight. And the end is not a sight wish to be seen.

What you hope for to be, sometimes doesn’t happen how you want it.

I’m 23, if it was how you envisioned it some time ago

I should be in medical school right now, finishing up my second year.

I should be preparing to leave for spring break on some crazy adventure with my fiance and best friends.

Never worrying on what going to happen next. If it was 5 years ago

But its not the case, life threw a huge curveball in the form of an invisible illness to the love of my life.

An illness that has not be fought for, yet there are many who suffer from such a disease.

As I watch and support, I can’t help but think. Where is the voice in the silence?

For those who…

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Rookie of the Year

Migraine Discussions

Congratulations to my fiancé Michael Fernandez for winning the WeGo Health award Rookie of the Year.

Michael was recognized for the great changes is making in the migraine world and the advocacy he presents for migraines and the rare disease he suffers from Churg Strauss!

The inspiration he gives to those who suffer from chronic pain or illness is extraordinary. He shows that with perseverance and great effort anything is possible. You make me want to be something better everyday and to push to receive what I deserve. Even if I don’t suffer from chronic illness there is no excuse to not fight for what you want and Michael continues to shown that .

With this award you will be able to touch many more people and spread the word on illnesses that are not being acknowledged. You definitely inspire me babe.

Look out for the future because here are…

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Talking To The Moon

 

I lay here awake
Wondering to myself
What you are thinking
What you are feeling

I will never understand
I will never know
But man can’t say I don’t try

I can’t blame you for being upset
When others claim they do
Even from a place of good nature
They don’t know the nightmares that creep

You have seen the ugly in the world
At an age when we should be seeing the beauty of the world
But instead we have to see the ugliest of the healthcare system

God the treatment that can provided
Imagine with no insurance!?
I shudder to think what other have to go through.

Oh wait my own cousin actually has issues and he’s diagnosed with cancer
No rare disease but man does he struggle too!

We can say it has given us a mission
A motivation to be there for those who can’t be there for themselves
Through the chronic pain, the tears, and disappoints
Along with the times of great success
HOH, mini fundraisers, and meeting with wonderful people

I love to see your shine when you speak:
To advocate
To change
To succeed

I hide in the shadows
Sit in the chair and lend a smile
or crack a joke.
Even when my loud voice disrupts everything

But babe I stand by your side
Even when others try to make sure I’m ok
I know what I want for my future
The fight I want to proceed
And I know I make the right choice because
you are always where my mind goes back to in the end …

So I lay here awake
Wondering to myself
What you are thinking ?
What you are feeling ?….

~Venus

Combustion

Migraine Discussions

Today my head is exploding
like a factory of fireworks igniting
as if a fertilizers plant had been lit a flame
or natural gas had been mixed with propane and lit
It really does burn like crazy I never thought allodynia could be so amazingly painful.

I don’t want any one to walk, talk, brush past me, or graze me
it makes me feel pain and agony like one wouldn’t believe such small movements
yet so powerful a rub to my thigh could bring me to my knees and eventually the floor
I feel as if death is knocking at my door.

However I know this pain is temporary and I opted for it so it isn’t as scary
I know the additional leg pain is due to my photo shoot something that needed
to be done before I lost my hair and become a different looking man
I want…

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Light at the End of Tunnel

Migraine Discussions

That light at the end of the tunnel it seems ever closer

so may it be death or a breath of fresh air

it seems Ill need to cross that threshold to ever be fully aware

But right now too much is ringing within this mangled mind

I cannot seem to find anyway to unwind

it seems as soon as we get a treatment I have another new diagnosis

that somehow prevents our previous plans of success

for example due to the Churg Strauss I cannot attempt DHE

thought I’d do it for science personally.

I also want to try fMRI to gauge my true average pain and help establish a new system of pain sensory that avoids the typical; neurological stigma. I mean it does exist even at my Mom’s own hospital she’s a long time nurse. A SR told me a few days before this admission its all…

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